My grandfather's things...
Last week my grandfather, Richard Baughman, passed away.
As the family gathered, I and my cousin's 11-year-old son, Chase, found some things my grandfather had tucked away in drawers and boxes. Some were sweet, some were significant and some were just a bit curious.
Papaw was a man of great faith, heart and constant humor. This was evident in the collection Chase found.
He has lists tucked in every Bible, book and drawer of people he had prayed for all his life. Bible tracts scattered throughout, which he used when he would share his faith with others. His faith was his passion, and it was one of the things I admired most about him.
We found a name badge from the days when he was a meat cutter at Kroger. We found random newspaper clippings — why he kept some of these clippings we may never know, but they must have been things he wanted to remember.
There were a few articles written about him. One was about his retirement from Kroger and the beginning of his many years volunteering at the hospital. Another was about the many hours of cardiac rehab exercise he logged.
In one box were medals from his military service during World War II: a bronze star, a good conduct medal, and ribbons from European and North African campaigns. He did not display his medals; they were tucked inside a drawer. His service was never about him. It was about his country.
We also found photos and other mementos from his service in his box of treasures.
Chase spent a lot of time with those treasures — antique items he’d never seen before that caught his fascination.
There were cards made for Papaw or given to him by loved ones. Some were homemade cards, given to him by his daughters and granddaughters, that had yellowed with time.
They were special to him.
Among the collections that held significant memories were bits and pieces of his humor. We found a plastic finger with an electric chord attached to it called an electric nose cleaner, some plastic vampire teeth and a few other goofy things.
There also were tons of watches, the time on them now standing still. It seemed he never threw one away.
Chase found pocketknives, including one with his dad’s business name on it. Random items such as stamps, coins, pins and other items were discovered, as well.
For Chase, three of these items reminded him most of Papaw: the electric nose cleaner, the Army medals and the Kroger name tag.
The nose cleaner reminded him that Papaw, or Poppy as he called him, was always funny. The medals showed his support for our country, and the Kroger name tag was a remnant from the place where he worked for so long and where so many people came to know him. He was famous, you might say.
Regardless of what the items are, they all are pieces of his life before we knew him and during the time we were fortunate enough to experience his love and charm. Pieces of who he was: a great man who left great memories and a legacy of faith, humor and love to his family.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
This week's column
Mind games and a life well lived
The mind. Throughout our life we count on it for reason, knowledge, memory and everyday bodily control.
The mind can help people sort out problems, learn new things, remember critical life events and keep us moving on a daily basis.
We take pride in our abilities and all the mind accomplishes — great plans, productivity and progress.
As we grow older, the mind also can be cruel. Bits of memory seem to fade into oblivion, never to return. Things once learned are lost as if they were never studied. Reason gives way to paranoia and it often loses control of the body.
This is the life of someone suffering from dementia.
It not only affects their mood but also their personality, social skills, interest and ability to perform simple tasks. Sleep is disrupted, hallucinations occur and violent behavior often erupts.
Basically, the person you once knew disappears.
Recently I’ve experienced watching someone go through this. A man who had lived more than 90 years in good health suddenly is struggling with his own mind.
There are brief moments when he resurfaces again, especially in his humor — small glimpses of the man he is, still deep inside. In those brief moments the family can laugh again; it is those moments that give them something to hold onto when dementia has its cruel hold on him.
It is difficult for his family to watch someone who was once so vibrant, so active and so social deal with dementia. They are not seeing the man they’ve known all their lives as husband, father and grandfather. He’s almost a stranger to them with the face of the man they love.
But to live more than 90 years and only recently reach these difficult times is amazing. To have served with distinction in World War II. To have had a faith to raise a family strong in their Christian beliefs. To have been known to all those around him as a man of good character and humor.
Those things the family can cling to, knowing he has had a good life and is loved not only by his family but also by the many lives he has touched.
The memories of recent times will not be the lasting ones. The memories of the other decades of his life will be.
The jokes, the one song he knows (“Old Joe Clark”), the stories of his youth and war. The physical strength he had to go through heart surgery and live many years beyond what most others would without much complication.
But most of all his love — a love for his family, a great love for his country and a love for his God.
The pain and confusion of dementia will be just a fleeting moment in light of an amazing life lived.
The mind. Throughout our life we count on it for reason, knowledge, memory and everyday bodily control.
The mind can help people sort out problems, learn new things, remember critical life events and keep us moving on a daily basis.
We take pride in our abilities and all the mind accomplishes — great plans, productivity and progress.
As we grow older, the mind also can be cruel. Bits of memory seem to fade into oblivion, never to return. Things once learned are lost as if they were never studied. Reason gives way to paranoia and it often loses control of the body.
This is the life of someone suffering from dementia.
It not only affects their mood but also their personality, social skills, interest and ability to perform simple tasks. Sleep is disrupted, hallucinations occur and violent behavior often erupts.
Basically, the person you once knew disappears.
Recently I’ve experienced watching someone go through this. A man who had lived more than 90 years in good health suddenly is struggling with his own mind.
There are brief moments when he resurfaces again, especially in his humor — small glimpses of the man he is, still deep inside. In those brief moments the family can laugh again; it is those moments that give them something to hold onto when dementia has its cruel hold on him.
It is difficult for his family to watch someone who was once so vibrant, so active and so social deal with dementia. They are not seeing the man they’ve known all their lives as husband, father and grandfather. He’s almost a stranger to them with the face of the man they love.
But to live more than 90 years and only recently reach these difficult times is amazing. To have served with distinction in World War II. To have had a faith to raise a family strong in their Christian beliefs. To have been known to all those around him as a man of good character and humor.
Those things the family can cling to, knowing he has had a good life and is loved not only by his family but also by the many lives he has touched.
The memories of recent times will not be the lasting ones. The memories of the other decades of his life will be.
The jokes, the one song he knows (“Old Joe Clark”), the stories of his youth and war. The physical strength he had to go through heart surgery and live many years beyond what most others would without much complication.
But most of all his love — a love for his family, a great love for his country and a love for his God.
The pain and confusion of dementia will be just a fleeting moment in light of an amazing life lived.
Friday, May 28, 2010
This week's column
Just let them be kids!
Recently I saw a segment on a morning news show about a dance competition in Los Angeles where 8-year-old girls were, for lack of a better expression, bumping and grinding on stage to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It.”
The girls were dressed in outfits similar to what strippers might wear and performing very adult dance moves.
Before I go any further, I should say the girls were very good dancers. But the outfits and style of dance were completely inappropriate for their age and now, thanks in part to that morning show, the video has gone viral and can be seen all over the world via YouTube.
I intentionally did not include a link to the video because I don’t think these girls need to be further exposed.
Why can’t we just let little girls be little girls?
In what warped world do parents think they have to dress their darling daughters in skimpy outfits and let them dance like they belong on a pole to win a dance competition for 8-year-olds?
Eight-year-olds should be playing with Barbies and dressing up for tea parties or playing ball in the yard.
Which leads me to a second question. If the competition is so stiff that shock value is what makes an 8-year-old dance team win, does an 8-year-old belong in that competition?
Have we completely taken away their childhood? When do they get to be kids?
Parents and others defended the outfits saying they were skimpy so they would not restrict body movement and to allow the judges to better see the movements. Seriously?
I’m sorry, but those types of body movements should be restricted for 8-year-olds. If you are a good dancer, and these girls were, an outfit doesn’t restrict movement. I’ve seen good dancers do amazing dance routines dressed in much more.
I appreciated one comment I read on a Web site that was posted by a 17-year-old who has participated in dance competitions for years. She appreciated the dance skills of the girls but said the outfits and movements to the songs were inappropriate.
Her plea: “They aren’t even teenagers, yet. They are 8. Please keep them innocent.”
And that came from a teenager. I agree with her.
Granted, when I was a little girl, I sang and danced along to all my favorite pop songs. I listened to Olivia Newton John on my mom’s record player. (Yes, I said record player.) But my mom didn’t put me on stage in a skimpy outfit or encourage risque dance moves and later post the video on the Internet. The Internet!
Don’t these parents know that now the whole world can see their little darlings?
Now that the video has gone viral, it is open season for viewing by pedophiles, which grosses me out beyond words.
I beg you, please let your little girls be little girls.
As a former childhood educator, I can't even begin to explain how this type of treatment can negatively affect a young girl’s development and body image.
I think we need to see more little girls in pigtails instead of fishnet stockings. I just don’t know why people are in such a rush for these little ones to grow up so fast and introduce them to such promiscuous ideas so early in their lives.
Treasure these young girls while you can, and protect them.
That’s just my two cents' worth.
Recently I saw a segment on a morning news show about a dance competition in Los Angeles where 8-year-old girls were, for lack of a better expression, bumping and grinding on stage to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It.”
The girls were dressed in outfits similar to what strippers might wear and performing very adult dance moves.
Before I go any further, I should say the girls were very good dancers. But the outfits and style of dance were completely inappropriate for their age and now, thanks in part to that morning show, the video has gone viral and can be seen all over the world via YouTube.
I intentionally did not include a link to the video because I don’t think these girls need to be further exposed.
Why can’t we just let little girls be little girls?
In what warped world do parents think they have to dress their darling daughters in skimpy outfits and let them dance like they belong on a pole to win a dance competition for 8-year-olds?
Eight-year-olds should be playing with Barbies and dressing up for tea parties or playing ball in the yard.
Which leads me to a second question. If the competition is so stiff that shock value is what makes an 8-year-old dance team win, does an 8-year-old belong in that competition?
Have we completely taken away their childhood? When do they get to be kids?
Parents and others defended the outfits saying they were skimpy so they would not restrict body movement and to allow the judges to better see the movements. Seriously?
I’m sorry, but those types of body movements should be restricted for 8-year-olds. If you are a good dancer, and these girls were, an outfit doesn’t restrict movement. I’ve seen good dancers do amazing dance routines dressed in much more.
I appreciated one comment I read on a Web site that was posted by a 17-year-old who has participated in dance competitions for years. She appreciated the dance skills of the girls but said the outfits and movements to the songs were inappropriate.
Her plea: “They aren’t even teenagers, yet. They are 8. Please keep them innocent.”
And that came from a teenager. I agree with her.
Granted, when I was a little girl, I sang and danced along to all my favorite pop songs. I listened to Olivia Newton John on my mom’s record player. (Yes, I said record player.) But my mom didn’t put me on stage in a skimpy outfit or encourage risque dance moves and later post the video on the Internet. The Internet!
Don’t these parents know that now the whole world can see their little darlings?
Now that the video has gone viral, it is open season for viewing by pedophiles, which grosses me out beyond words.
I beg you, please let your little girls be little girls.
As a former childhood educator, I can't even begin to explain how this type of treatment can negatively affect a young girl’s development and body image.
I think we need to see more little girls in pigtails instead of fishnet stockings. I just don’t know why people are in such a rush for these little ones to grow up so fast and introduce them to such promiscuous ideas so early in their lives.
Treasure these young girls while you can, and protect them.
That’s just my two cents' worth.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
This week's Column: Enough, Jonathan Sullivan!
Did you ever notice that the simple utterance of a phrase can make you feel old? While some are words that are intended to show respect, you just don’t want to admit you are at an age that necessitates that respect.
For example, a high school kid at my church in the youth group, Jonathan Sullivan, insists on calling me Ms. Owsley. It makes me want to turn around and see if my mom is behind me. Ms Owsley? When did I become Ms. Owsley?
The first few times he did it I let it pass, understanding his mom probably told him to show respect to adults around him.
After a while I finally told him he could just call me Becca. That is the point when his attempt for respect turned into annoyance. I noticed he would say Ms. Owsley and grin because he knew it bugged me.
He knew it pushed my buttons and, like any teenager, he used the formal utterance of my name as a way to bug me.
It is strange how things like that can bug you. Like when you get ma'ammed. You like it when young people show respect towards someone, but when they say it to you somehow it’s weird. You think “whoa, am I old enough to be called ma’am?”
I want people to call my mom and grandmothers ma’am, but me? I guess I have to come to terms when the fact that I am now a ma’am. When did it happen? Was it when I turned 30 or 35? When?
It’s amazing the things that make us feel old.
Back pain when you’re younger usually means you did something active to injure it. You can at least pinpoint what you did to hurt it. As you get older, you can wake up with back pain and may have no real reason for it. You just got out of bed that way. As I write this, I have a heating pad in my chair to ease my current random back pain.
Everything pops and cracks these days.
And what’s with the music. Why is it suddenly I can’t understand a word they are saying in music today. Sometimes I’m not even sure they are using actual words in their songs.
And when did they start playing '80s music on the oldies stations? Seriously? I don’t think Sting, M.J. and Cyndi Lauper can really be classified as oldies just yet. I hope not at least.
But back to Jonathan and his habit of calling me Ms. Owsley. I asked him what I could do to get him to stop calling me Ms. Owsley. He said if I wrote a column about how it bugged me he would stop.
So here ya go Jonathan, no more Ms. Owsley. It will be one less thing that makes me feel like I’m getting older.
For example, a high school kid at my church in the youth group, Jonathan Sullivan, insists on calling me Ms. Owsley. It makes me want to turn around and see if my mom is behind me. Ms Owsley? When did I become Ms. Owsley?
The first few times he did it I let it pass, understanding his mom probably told him to show respect to adults around him.
After a while I finally told him he could just call me Becca. That is the point when his attempt for respect turned into annoyance. I noticed he would say Ms. Owsley and grin because he knew it bugged me.
He knew it pushed my buttons and, like any teenager, he used the formal utterance of my name as a way to bug me.
It is strange how things like that can bug you. Like when you get ma'ammed. You like it when young people show respect towards someone, but when they say it to you somehow it’s weird. You think “whoa, am I old enough to be called ma’am?”
I want people to call my mom and grandmothers ma’am, but me? I guess I have to come to terms when the fact that I am now a ma’am. When did it happen? Was it when I turned 30 or 35? When?
It’s amazing the things that make us feel old.
Back pain when you’re younger usually means you did something active to injure it. You can at least pinpoint what you did to hurt it. As you get older, you can wake up with back pain and may have no real reason for it. You just got out of bed that way. As I write this, I have a heating pad in my chair to ease my current random back pain.
Everything pops and cracks these days.
And what’s with the music. Why is it suddenly I can’t understand a word they are saying in music today. Sometimes I’m not even sure they are using actual words in their songs.
And when did they start playing '80s music on the oldies stations? Seriously? I don’t think Sting, M.J. and Cyndi Lauper can really be classified as oldies just yet. I hope not at least.
But back to Jonathan and his habit of calling me Ms. Owsley. I asked him what I could do to get him to stop calling me Ms. Owsley. He said if I wrote a column about how it bugged me he would stop.
So here ya go Jonathan, no more Ms. Owsley. It will be one less thing that makes me feel like I’m getting older.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Exhaustion that's worth it
This was my column that was supposed to run in the paper today but the wrong one ran so I thought I'd put it in my blog....
As I sit to write this column I am tired and worn out yet energized. I know that needs some explaining.
This past weekend, I helped with my church youth group’s Disciple Now weekend. We combined with 13 other churches with more than 200 middle school and high school students for a weekend in-town retreat and camp experience.
I was assigned to a house with nine 13- and 14-year-old girls. This is where the tired part comes in. They kept me up later than I was used to, talking and watching movies and several episodes of "Hannah Montana." If you haven’t been around kids that age very much, they either don’t talk much or can’t stop talking. We had a few of both in this group.
They were a bunch of good girls and a lot of fun.
During the weekend, we went to three church services at three different churches, attempted an amazing race that got rained out and ate lots and lots of junk food. This is why I’m a bit worn out. We carted these kids back and forth and all over the place.
The excitement for our amazing race across town fizzled when it started pouring down rain. The girls ran into one location and when they got in the car they were done with the race experience. In their words, they were wet and yucky and had enough of the rain.
Out of all the teens we had at many different houses, we didn’t have a single discipline problem. They were exceptionally good kids.
On Sunday morning, the youth had an opportunity to get up in front of their peers and talk about their experience. This is the energized part.
When a teenager gets up to talk, you never really know what to expect. You don’t know if they are going to go on about the prank they pulled on their friend, the food they ate or give short responses like “it was fun” or “I liked the music.”
While they did talk about the fun stuff, they focused on the meaningful experiences during their weekend. Some spoke of not wanting to go at first but realized they were meant to be there.
Others talked about being comforted and having a new feeling of belonging. Some talked of wanting to go out and make a difference, to be intentional about knowing who they were becoming.
In all, they all seemed to have a desire to want a deeper relationship with God.
When teens go to camp, they often talk of a “mountain-top” experience that fades quickly after they returned. These teens were not only aware that the fade can happen, they spoke of trying to make efforts to keep it from happening.
I have to admit, as I heard them speak, I couldn’t help from letting the tears fall. These are kids I have seen grow over several months and even years. To see their development and maturity blossom touches my heart. To see them not just get up and talk about the fun stuff but to authentically express their hearts and spiritual experiences, it was a joy to behold.
Many people ask me why I spend so much time working with youth. This is one of the reasons why. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for them.
Watch out world …here they come.
As I sit to write this column I am tired and worn out yet energized. I know that needs some explaining.
This past weekend, I helped with my church youth group’s Disciple Now weekend. We combined with 13 other churches with more than 200 middle school and high school students for a weekend in-town retreat and camp experience.
I was assigned to a house with nine 13- and 14-year-old girls. This is where the tired part comes in. They kept me up later than I was used to, talking and watching movies and several episodes of "Hannah Montana." If you haven’t been around kids that age very much, they either don’t talk much or can’t stop talking. We had a few of both in this group.
They were a bunch of good girls and a lot of fun.
During the weekend, we went to three church services at three different churches, attempted an amazing race that got rained out and ate lots and lots of junk food. This is why I’m a bit worn out. We carted these kids back and forth and all over the place.
The excitement for our amazing race across town fizzled when it started pouring down rain. The girls ran into one location and when they got in the car they were done with the race experience. In their words, they were wet and yucky and had enough of the rain.
Out of all the teens we had at many different houses, we didn’t have a single discipline problem. They were exceptionally good kids.
On Sunday morning, the youth had an opportunity to get up in front of their peers and talk about their experience. This is the energized part.
When a teenager gets up to talk, you never really know what to expect. You don’t know if they are going to go on about the prank they pulled on their friend, the food they ate or give short responses like “it was fun” or “I liked the music.”
While they did talk about the fun stuff, they focused on the meaningful experiences during their weekend. Some spoke of not wanting to go at first but realized they were meant to be there.
Others talked about being comforted and having a new feeling of belonging. Some talked of wanting to go out and make a difference, to be intentional about knowing who they were becoming.
In all, they all seemed to have a desire to want a deeper relationship with God.
When teens go to camp, they often talk of a “mountain-top” experience that fades quickly after they returned. These teens were not only aware that the fade can happen, they spoke of trying to make efforts to keep it from happening.
I have to admit, as I heard them speak, I couldn’t help from letting the tears fall. These are kids I have seen grow over several months and even years. To see their development and maturity blossom touches my heart. To see them not just get up and talk about the fun stuff but to authentically express their hearts and spiritual experiences, it was a joy to behold.
Many people ask me why I spend so much time working with youth. This is one of the reasons why. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for them.
Watch out world …here they come.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thoughts on God and cheeseburgers...really it makes sense when you read it :-)
Recently I have been rereading "Desiring God" by John Piper for my devotional time. It brings to my attention that I delight in way to many things other than God. If I focused more of my thoughts and energy on Him, then I wouldn't be concerned at all if I miss an episode of my favorite TV show or wonder who's done what on Facebook. If I would spend so much less time on these things and keep my focus, worship, mind and heart on God, how much more joyous would my life be. If true joy comes from God then why am I so caught up and wasting my time on such trivial things? Just the thoughts I had after reading tonight.
And...I found out today that a hamburger with pimento cheese on it may sound kind of gross but it was actually very yummy...random thought for the day :-)
And...I found out today that a hamburger with pimento cheese on it may sound kind of gross but it was actually very yummy...random thought for the day :-)
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Lazarus come out
I heard a lesson about Lazarus this morning and a video was shown that I don't think told the whole scope of the story. Jesus plainly says in scripture "this sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."
The video seemed to infer that Jesus was surprised in his ability to raise Lazarus and was a bit scared. I think Scripture plainly states that Jesus knew exactly what would happen and spoke with authority, His authority as God for Lazarus to come out of the tomb.
The lesson stressed the friendship of Jesus and Lazarus as the focus of this scene in Scripture. But it was about a lot more than that. As stated above from John 11:4 this was more about the glory of God as displayed in Jesus. Although Jesus loved that entire family as friends when he heard Lazarus was sick he waited two days for him to die. He could have went to heal him when he was sick but waited to show the power and Glory of God in raising Lazarus from the dead.
Yes, they were friends but this story (as in all stories in Scripture and the stories of believers ever since) is about the Glory of God. Let us not forget the power of the Almighty as we struggle with our own views in humanity.
Let us voice with the same assurance as Martha saying "Yes Lord, I believe that you are the Christ,the Son of God who was come into the world."
To God's glory, the point of all things.
The video seemed to infer that Jesus was surprised in his ability to raise Lazarus and was a bit scared. I think Scripture plainly states that Jesus knew exactly what would happen and spoke with authority, His authority as God for Lazarus to come out of the tomb.
The lesson stressed the friendship of Jesus and Lazarus as the focus of this scene in Scripture. But it was about a lot more than that. As stated above from John 11:4 this was more about the glory of God as displayed in Jesus. Although Jesus loved that entire family as friends when he heard Lazarus was sick he waited two days for him to die. He could have went to heal him when he was sick but waited to show the power and Glory of God in raising Lazarus from the dead.
Yes, they were friends but this story (as in all stories in Scripture and the stories of believers ever since) is about the Glory of God. Let us not forget the power of the Almighty as we struggle with our own views in humanity.
Let us voice with the same assurance as Martha saying "Yes Lord, I believe that you are the Christ,the Son of God who was come into the world."
To God's glory, the point of all things.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)