This week's column

And in other news...

While recently watching a television commercial that parodied Facebook updates calling them "breaking news," I wondered: What would life look like if random status updates from "friends" on Facebook made up the sum of a person's day?
By using actual status updates posted by my friends, a day in my life might go a little bit like this:
I am still in the bed. Do I have to get up? I watched heat lightning on our porch last night along with music and popcorn saying, “Moon, you are so full and so close, I could almost reach out and touch you.”
So, let's see how this day goes without any sleep last night. It should be interesting.
I’m making lists, checking things off and doing the cross fit "thang" again today … I’m scared.
After two cups of Venetian coffee and half a Diet Coke, I'm still sleepy. The doctor just came in and they are keeping her another day, but I got a kitty.
There was crying in baseball last night. Owen got stung by a bee. But there's no laughing in journalism.
I’m somewhere in Tennessee listening to '80s on 8 on Sirius radio. Only five and a half more hours to go, but sitting in the Seattle airport gets me ticked off.
The artist who aims at perfection in everything achieves it in nothing, which is why Mickey is a butterfly killer.
I officially watched every episode of “Star Trek: Deep Space 9” twice and am now exhausted and ready for a break.
A friend’s fortune cookie said, "good news will come to you from far away," which is why she’s having a yard sale, because you know she rolls diva style.
Looking at the five-day forecast and the biggest number I see is 85 — cold front — but remember some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.
I’m in a food rut and never making popcorn ever again.
I can’t get Randy Travis’s “Diggin’ Up Bones” out of my head, and no, I don’t know why it’s there in the first place.
I’m wishing I could be a little kid again; life was so much easier and fun.
You know you're getting old when it takes the whole week to recoup from the weekend.
Hollie Sexton wears a raspberry beret and walks in through the out door.
I thought yesterday was the most beautiful day outside ever. Then I saw today.
I climbed into the lion cage today. No big deal, but I went rogue a long time ago.
It was such a fat day of disappointments but what a beautiful day. Oh, and there's a snake in my boot.
I just finished my column and it's a random bunch of nothingness, but I hope you enjoy it …Oh wait, that one’s mine.